The 10 stages of the common cold

For the first time in over a year, I was felled by the cold virus this past week. (What??! It’s almost summer!) Has that ever happened to you? All things considered, it hasn’t been too bad. I’ve fared worse in previous cases, but still… It’s never a great ride. If you’ve been blessed with the gift of never having ever caught a cold, congratulations! You have everyone’s envy upon you (including mine). But allow me to guide you through the stages to give you a feeler for it.

Stage 1: the denial.

Uh oh, do I feel a cold coming on? *thinks a second.* Nah, must be allergies! Look at all the pollen flying around! (But I’ll take vitamin c just in case.)

Stage 2: the sore throat.

It starts off as a harmless tickle. But then, as your day progresses, it gets less tickly and more… Prickly. Now you know it must be a cold. (Dammit). When you finally decide to turn in, you can only lay in bed awake because your throat is bothering the hell out of you. You want to keep swallowing, but it hurts, and if you don’t swallow, it still hurts. Good thing this stage is at the beginning and lasts only a short time, because it is the worst.

Stage 3: the hallucinogenic dreams.

When you finally start to get into that stage between asleep and awake, you start having dreams of things that didn’t even make a dent in your subconscious… At least, until tonight. It could be a name you heard, something totally average that happened during the day… Then they start repeating over and over and over as you wake up over and over and over. (For me, all I could repeatedly dream of was the ending of Agents of Shield, and think about what was going to happen to Simmons.)

Stage 4: the gradual onset of the runny nose.

Congrats! You’ve made it past the sore throat stage. Now your nose is starting to run slightly… You think, “oh, this isn’t so bad! Maybe it will just be a three day thing.” Hahahahahah SO WRONG.

Stage 5: The all out nose-blowing and sneezes. And icky coughs, if you’re so very unfortunate.

Someone pass me a tissue! Or 5000 of them, if you would be so kind.

Stage 6: Complete lack of willpower to do anything.

It’s time to call in sick: break out the sweat pants and flop yourself in front of the tv for the rest eternity. (And rack up the sympathies of others.)

Stage 7: Your family members taking the precautionary measures to avoid catching your plague.

Nuff’ said.

Stage 8: A breakthrough. YOU SLEPT THE NIGHT!

This happens after days of relentless cold symptoms. You can finally breath through your nose, and can go almost a day without having to grab a tissue before spontaneously combusting into sneezes.

Stage 9: You sound normal again.

No, I’m sorry, Kermit the frog doesn’t live here any more.

Stage 10: You can officially consider yourself “clean”. 

After the first week, you’re not contagious. Huzzah!

Time to celebrate!!

Repeat after me: I will take my vitamins everyday. And I will not go into work/school if I’m feeling like crap.

Stay healthy, amigos!

Things I will miss about “Mad Men”

This past weekend, AMC’s 60s-centric tv drama darling came to an end after a successful seven seasons. The 70s arrived, along with some much needed change (if can that actually be said) for our boy Don Draper… Or should I say, Dick Whitman. There are a lot of things I will miss about this show, but here are my top reasons:

  • The authenticity towards the decade and changes. You know how in some movies and tv shows set in a particular time period seem to kind of plaster on a couple of features that define the decade (for instance, bouffant hair and splashy patterns) and say, “hey! we’re in the 19___!” without actually delving into specifics too deeply? Now, Mad Men probably wasn’t perfect (although it sure seemed like it), but when it was 1967, you could tell it was 1967. A big difference from how things looked in 1963. Matt Weiner did an incredible job in connecting the show with the events of the time, and making us nostalgia all over the place.
  • The costumes. I will never get over how amazing the costumes were. Janie Bryant is a marvel; without her direction, none of the characters would be who they really were, nor would there be cryptic symbolic meanings to look for behind each of their clothing, which made the show all the more interesting (see: Tom+Lorenzo.)
  • Sally Draper’s development.  She goes from being the cute kid wearing a plastic dry-cleaning bag to a smart-talking, independent young lady, looking after her younger siblings. Given the developments in the final episodes, I have no doubt she’ll turn out just fine. But I really would love to know how she will get along with her father in later years.
  • Anything ridiculous that comes out of Pete Campbell’s mouth. This was my favourite line of his this season.
  • Watching Peggy Olson continually smash the glass ceiling. Because we all know that’s what she was truly meant  to do.
  • All of the characters, really. You either love em or hate em. They weren’t entirely good and they weren’t entirely bad either. t was their flaws that made them compelling, and made you want to tag along to see what they were going to do next.

How I will miss it!

Top image from here

It’s here…

In honor of this special month, I present to you a clip from the musical Camelot, in all its 1960s/flower power glory.

However, the quote goes back a bit farther. I read Sir Thomas Malory’s Le Morte d’Arthur for a Middle Ages lit course I took in university–most of it went over my head, but I definitely remember the poem on the lusty month of May… Mainly because it was Lancelot was getting his lust on over Guinevere. (Since I came across this clip a few years ago, it always comes to mind.)

“The month of May was come, when every lusty heart beginneth to blossom, and to bring forth fruit; for like as herbs and trees bring forth fruit and flourish in May, in like wise every lusty heart that is in any manner a lover, springeth and flourisheth in lusty deeds. For it giveth unto all lovers courage, that lusty month of May, in something to constrain him to some manner of thing more in that month than in any other month, for divers causes.”—Sir Thomas Malory, Le Morte d’Arthur (1485)