Life, as I know it, seems to have come to a sort-of standstill. Again. This time last year, I was hopping busy with two journalism internships during the week. Despite the fact that I enjoyed one and was not quite enjoying the other, I was basically thriving.
13 months later, I’m out of j-school and still trying to figure where to go from there. The options are endless: apply here, start writing for this place, start freelancing, take anything for some work. And ok, I have a bit of a gig right now, doing some copyediting. I’m certainly grateful for the experiences I’ve had over the past few years, because I’ve learned tons in my field. But it still leaves me wondering, where do I go? Am I not trying hard enough? Or is it just all just a game of chance in finding something? Or better yet… Should I go another direction?
As I’ve seen things, opportunity has come in waves: there was university for four years, then a standstill for a year. J-school, internships, and as of now, another standstill. It’s perplexing, confusing, slightly irritating… And making me feel like I’m slightly stranded in the middle of the ocean, a la Wilson in Castaway. When or what that next wave will be, I can’t say.
By 25 (hey future me!), I figured I already have a steady job. Finally feeling secure, ready to move out from under my parents’ roof, basically carpe diem-ing the shit out of my twenties… Or maybe that’s what we only see in tv and the movies. But if the twenties are supposed to be a decade of experimentation and YOLOing, maybe I need to seriously re-check. Maybe there are more opportunities out there than I realize, and I just tend to underestimate myself.
I’ve also been thinking a lot of the quote from Melissa in Bridesmaids (finally saw it!):
And of course the question is, what will be my solution? Without trying to sound too philosophical… The truth is out there. Maybe it will just take some paddling to discover that next tidal wave of opportunity. Or better yet, I’ve already discovered it and I just don’t know it.