Ghosts. Goblins. Witches. Oh my! Halloween is a wild time of year. The one day where you have the freedom to scare the pants of people also coincides with the day that you can dress as weirdly as you want to. When it comes to Halloween movies, there is no limit to being spooky… Or for that matter, weird. (Well, maybe there is.*) I have a few favourites, ranked by both weirdness and best lines. I’m not much of one for the jumpy scenes (and spillage of guts) in movies because I hate the anticipation of what’s to happen, so I go by the weirder ones. Quoting movie lines are by far my favourite thing, especially when the scenario is right. Interestingly enough, these films freaked me out when I was kid (a lot of things did), but nowadays I just get a kick out of re-watching them. So here they are, in no particular order or rating….
1. Hocus Pocus.
Plot: Revolves around three witches who are resurrected in the 20th century in time for Halloween by a silly teenager, who also happens to be–wait for it–a virgin. It involves a talking cat and a zombie, and an annoying little sister. How’s that for bizarre?
“Oh look, another glorious morning… Makes me sick!”
“Thackery Binx, what took you so long?” “Sorry Emily. I had to wait 300 years for a virgin to light the candle.”
“I’ve always wanted a child of my own. And now I think I’ll have one…. ON TOAST!”
And this gem of a scene:
Quirky factor: 8/10
2. Sleepy Hollow.
I don’t put it past Tim Burton to skimp on weird movies. If there’s one of his films that I really really enjoy, it’s this one. The perfect combo of macabre and humour, Burton puts a great spin on the classic tale.
Also: Johnny Depp. Priceless as ever. (Can you hear his voice in your head?!)
Plot: Ichabod Crane arrives in Sleepy Hollow as an investigator to see about reoccurring beheadings. Calamity insures, and heads, do in fact, roll. And the blood!
Best lines: “Five bodies in four graves.”
“The Horseman comes! And tonight, he comes for you!”
“Kill it! No, no, stun it!”
Quirk factor: 7/10
Aka, My first OTP.
Plot: Casper! The little ghost who just wants to be friends with everyone, but can’t seem to because he lives in this large mansion with his annoying uncles who have no problem with scaring humans off their property. Enter Kat and her Dad, who travel around the country looking for paranormal activity, and are called to this place by a scheming lady. Major kudos for the CGI effects and grotesque humour (courtesy of Stretch, Stinkie and Fatso). I consider it quirky mainly for the reason that Casper and his uncles are blobs of transparent white stuff, with few discernible human features.
Best lines: “God, I’d kill for a pinkie.”
“There’s a girl… On my bed… YES!”
“You’re sweaty male construction types for Christ’s sakes!”
And for scenes like this.
Quirk factor: 6/10.
Ee-gads, Tim Burton again. This movie. Is wild.
Plot: A married couple who move into a new home (and die, shortly after) return as ghosts to scare away new owners. Enter… Beetlejuice, who is crazy crazy crazy and wreaks havoc on the living (as well as the dead). It stars a baby Wynona Rider, Alec Baldwin and Gina Davis. And of course, and pre-Batman Michael Keaton as… Well, you know. And what exactly is he anyway? Ghost, poltergeist, zombie? His appearance is enough to give anyone the willies. (Recently, I heard that there is to be a sequel?) Never the less, the movie is what we consider today a cult classic.
Quirk factor: 10/10
5. The Addams Family.
CLASSIC. The Addams’ are so offbeat it’s incredible. While the sequel is pretty good, nothing really beats the first, does it?
Plot: We begin on the Addams family estate, where they are all one big happy/unhappy? family, albeit, sanz Fester (who went missing years prior). Then some con artists appear, including one who happens to look like Fester, and decides to pose as him to trick the Addams’ into getting their wealth. Witty and full of sass talking family members (especially Morticia and Wednesday), one cannot go wrong. And if they do, they better watch out or they might lose a body part.
Best lines: “Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.”
“Don’t torture yourself Gomez. That’s my job.”